


Phil swift owns your soul Y/N

by Youwillregretlearningtoread



Category: Real Person Fiction
Genre: Cringe, Cursed, Weird Plot Shit, Weirdness, shitpost
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:54:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25811650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Youwillregretlearningtoread/pseuds/Youwillregretlearningtoread
Summary: Bacicly Phil swift is some demon that owns your soul, bob ross says hes going to save you in a dream and sends tiny owen Wilson and Dany devito in a jar
Relationships: None
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	Phil swift owns your soul Y/N

**Author's Note:**

> Prepare your eye bleach

I was once again laying in bed, as I often find myself doing. As I scrolled through the endless pages of tumblr, and Instagram, I end up on the familiar platform of youtube. As I scroll through what seems like endless videos, with not a single one catching my eye, I refresh once again. Now, at the top of my phone screen, was a video that stood out. It was probably only there because the other night I fell asleep while watching videos and fell down a rabbit whole of weird media, but it caught my attention. At first, I was confused, but then, as I turned around in my bed to view my Phill swift poster. His beady eyes seemed black in the low light, yes at the same time, he looked into my eyes and I knew. He was the one to give me the video, I was playing right into his hands. He had seen my boredom, and placed this video onto my screen. As I stall I can feel his anger. 

“Do it Y/N, you know you want to,”He seemed to say, “everything will be GRRRRReat, after you watch it”

Feeling his menacing glare, I click on the video. Soon Bright colors cover the screen, while somber music rushes through my HeadPhones. Soon several indian men appear on screen, and begin to explain how they will be making a pool out of their Cheating ex girlfriends mass grave. Eventually, they begin to dig, saving any bones they find to weld into the pool wall.

As the Video continues I feel Phills gaze soften, I did what he asked. I Have pleased him. The relief will be short lived though, because inevitably, he will grow angry again, and soon require my assistance, again. I am simply his toy. We all are. We buy his product, give in to his words, unknowing of the chaos he seeks to start. Soon he will be tearing realities in half, only to mend it with Flex seal. It's a never ending paradox, that no one can escape. I am fine with being the one he takes it out on however. As the more of his attention goes to me, the less time he has to realize the power he actually holds. So, I shall do as he says, Wash his fursuit, test product on myself, and watch semi menacing videos. As long as it keeps him at bay. 

There are times though where he gets loose though. He escapes in his tiger fursuit and sells cereal with the Alias ‘Tony the Tiger’, as another way to fund his plans, he approaches children, despite his sex ofender obligaton, and films his comersials. There is no god, and if there is, he cowers in fear of what he allowed to exist. 

Eventually though, the video comes to a close, they had just put the chlorine, mixed with ashes off their ex’s skin. Now that the outro was playing, filling the room with color and more intense music than the intro, I felt something in my chest ease. Phil was pleased. As I looked to the clock I saw the blinking green digits indicating it was 3:33. I sighed and looked at Phil, I had done what he wanted, he was dormant. This meant I could rest for the night. 

As I got ready for bed I felt a sense of ease. I had even started humming while I was brushing my teeth. I hadn't felt this way in a while considering the lucky charms leprechaun always watched at school since I was just a toddler, only to give me over to the clutches of Phil.

When I got comfortable I immediately fell asleep, something I haven't achieved since Phil came. Soon, my dreams turned into clouds. I was floating through, towards a familiar yet new destination. After what felt like forever I arrived at a small house. Upon entry I noticed the homeyness of the house. There was a scent of baked goods everywhere and the general vibe of going to your grandma’s house after a long day. I walked through a hallway that seemed to be calling out to me. I eventually came upon a door covered in paint and charcoal doodles. I opened the door and saw a familiar afro. He was painting something white gray and red, but I couldn't tell what it was quite yet. Bob Ross stood there, painting with small strokes while whispering kind words to himself.

As I walked in, he noticed me. He beckoned me over, not stopping his painting.

“I knew you would arrive here Y/N,” he calmly stated,” You always do.”

“What does that mean?” I asked him.

“You’ve been Down there for a long time. He’s finally gotten a solid hold of you. But that's ok, we can still stop him, it's nothing to worry about, we can still fix it.”

“I don’t understand.”

“And that's alright, knowledge will come in time. All we really can do right now is get you to safety, no matter the cost. Though it will also be nice to stop him while we are at it, so this doesn't happen next time.”

“What do you mean next time?”

“You’ve been down there several times, each time he got a hold of you, this time however, will be different.”

“And how is that?”

“He’s weak right now, quarantine has decreased his sales, he has less souls in his hands then any other reincarnation. We have a chance to put a stop to it.”

“What do you need me to do?”

“For now? Nothing child, we can't afford for him to lose any amount of trust in you, we must wait for the perfect moment to strike, when he’s weakest. For now though, I will protect your soul any way I can.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“That's all i'm asking of you. I can't stress you too much, that wouldn't be fair of you, especially not in this reincarnation.” As he spoke his painting started to come together, it seemed to be a can of some sort, with splashes of red.

“So just act like normal right?”

“Yes, and remember to give yourself time to breath and realise everything is going to be okay, it's time to wake up though. Remember what I told you.”

I woke up, still as tired as I went to sleep and wiped the corners of my eyes. I checked the clock which read 11:27.

I got up to do my morning routine and chores, and looked over to phil. He was still dormant, as usual. 

Once I was done I looked at the time. 11:39. I still had time until he woke up at noon. So I took my daily Duolingo lesson, since i didn't need another form of evil in my home. The rest of the day went as usual, with Phil waking up and ordering me around until late hours of the night, oing work for his company, and general demon business mixed in. It was then that I had decided to go to my closet off where I had hid my fidget spinner and cube. Yes it was old but to my tiny little heart it was still relevant. I grabbed the small box in the corner of the closet, then it struck me, the expanse of shock. It was a small Danny Devito, smaller than he is in real life, in a tiny jar. 

Who put him there? Why is he here? That wasn't the only thing. There was another small being in a jar in there. I couldn't recognize him at first but after lifting the jar for closer inspection, it was tiny Owen wilson. I gasped in shock. They were pounding on the glass and I opened the lid. 

“Wow.” The small Wilson exaggerated.

“What are you guys doing in here?” they looked at each other before shrugging. 

“It's a long story but we’re looking for a bob ross?”

Confused, I glanced at both of them like a mad man. There’s no way right? They can't possibly know, it was a dream right?

“First how did you both get in here?” getting back to the main question. I held them at the palm of my hand. 

“We were both thinking the same thing. We went on an exploration to find Bob. Danny here was dead also but I brought him back through a demonic sacrifice of ‘the one true thing I loved’. But besides that the gate keeper said there was a bob ross here?”

So, I explained the dream I had and my affiliation with Phil Swift. After I finished explaining I received both shock and fear from the small men, followed by acceptance and understanding of the situation. 

“Well kid, you sure got you sure in a pickle.” Wilson Noted.

“Says the one who was stuck in a cum jar.” I remarked.


End file.
